I’ve been skirting round this issue for the past week, an inner struggle with where I am, how well I am and how I identify myself. I’ve got lost in the storm inside my head and it hasn’t been a comfortable or pleasant place to be. Today I had a break through, one that I didn’t see coming at all. I’ve been hearing people say that you have to appreciate what you have and I struggle with that. I know I have so much; but I want more, mainly health and energy which will allow me to do more of what I want. Someone said that I was perfect as I am, right now, in this moment. I couldn’t hear that, all I could see was my flawed and broken body. I wasn’t good enough for me, how could I be for anyone else? None of my achievements seemed to matter because I wasn’t well – that sounds stupid now; but I really did feel like that. Everything I did I overlooked because it would only be good enough when I was healthy.
Today I sat and I tuned in to me, to the part of me that is still and calm, strong and powerful. It started as a small sense which just grew and grew, expanding out and away, breaking through the layers of tiredness and fear. I got a really clear sense of my body, as if I was feeling it, all of it, for the very first time. I heard this inner voice that said simply I am complete. I am enough. It was the most calm and tranquil moment I think I’ve ever had and most importantly it felt true.
I’ve tried affirmations, telling myself that I’m strong or perfect or good enough; but they all felt false and hollow. This felt true and it came from within, deep in my soul, not formed by my brain and I felt it and recognised it. All the struggle, the stress and strain fell away.
I am enough, right here, right now. With my health as it is, with my energy, my achievements, my possessions, my life, none of those things truly matter or affect who I am. Achieving more, doing more, being more, getting better, it won’t change who I am. Right now and always I am enough. Enough for me which means I’m enough for everyone else. The knowledge is freeing and uplifting.
I am enough. So are you.