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Losing Touch with Old Friends October 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Claire @ 11:54 pm

My friend

There are lots of people who have come into my life, normally because we both have ME; but when they get better they tend to fade away, moving on to doing "normal" things and not having the time to stay in touch. It's always really hard, especially because not only are you hurt that they have abandoned you; but it reinforces that you're still ill and that another person has got better.

I always wonder where they are and what they're up to; but in a way it's probably a good thing because it would be harder seeing them living a normal life while mine is still so restricted.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try to keep a friendship going, it just won't. I've learnt that most friendships have a time limit, that you learn from each other and grow, sometimes together sometimes apart. It's sad; but you have to let go of the old to make way for the new.

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4 Responses to “Losing Touch with Old Friends”

  1. Randall Says:

    Even sometimes in once close knit families it seems.

  2. Indigo Jo Says:

    I think there are complicated reasons why people who made friends with other ME sufferers while ill themselves often lose touch once they’re better. The majority of people don’t rely on the Internet to make friends; most of those who do have particular reasons, such as the Internet or computers being a major interest in its own right, or being unable to make friends with those around them because of something like Asperger’s syndrome. They may even get off the Internet once they no longer need it, although fewer people would do that now than in the past, when it was seen as a geek’s pastime.

    They may also not know how to relate to their old friends — they may feel guilty regaling you with all their tales of how active their life is, getting married, going back to college or work, going on holiday and so on, while their old friends are still stuck in bed. They may also have been traumatised by what they went through when they were sick (whether by the symptoms of the illness itself or by abusive treatment in hospital or wherever), and might simply find talking to old friends who are still sick (and talking about symptoms, drugs, tubes etc) too much of a reminder of something they would rather not dwell on.


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