This post is inspired by a blog I have just read by Ollin Morales, you can read it here… Ollin talks about ways to motivate yourself to write; but I think his insights can apply to so many other aspects of life. The one that specifically jumped out at me was point two, Don’t Place A Goal On When You’ll Receive Your Worth. I know that I see success as the achievement of a goal, for example “when I write this/sell this/ do this /make this / look like this / go here / see that” etc. I go on this huge quest to achieve my goal and while I enjoy the process I’m constantly waiting for that happy rush of achievment, the boost of feeling I’ve made it. Ollin points out that you’ll feel worthless until you reach that goal and in my experience it’s not only true; but I never reach the goal because I keep moving it, aiming for bigger and better things. I achieve one thing; but I’m already focused on the next big challenge, telling myself that that’s what will make me truly happy or a “real” success. I don’t take time to appreciate or celebrate the great moments in my life.
This is partly for fear of resting on my laurels, it’s the very British view of not being seen to be successful or overly confident, we all love an underdog; but tend to look down on them once they’ve overcome the odds.
Another reason for not enjoying the highs is probably because, although I tell myself that my goal is a specific achievement or event, in reality my motivation is more like the eighth point, Me vs the World. I’m constantly trying to “make a difference”, overcome my ME, prove the doubters and nay-sayers wrong. The passion and fire that evokes is incredibly intoxicating, it lights a fire which can keep you going for years; but it’s exhausting and Ollin points out you can’t win, or have any sort of victory. There will never be that moment when the person admits they were wrong or society apologies for putting you down. even if it hapened, it would never feels like the achievement makes up for the bad things that have happened.
I’ve been on this impossible quest for something I can never find or achieve and while I’m not miserable, I’m not as happy as I could be. I’m going to start celebrating the steps and realising I am a success now, I have made something out of my life, I am and have helped people. If it all fades away tomorrow, that’s the truth. It won’t though because I’m living my life, finding things that make me feel alive and bring me happiness. I’m playing my part in the world and that’s what truly matters. So this is the formal end to my impossible quest and the start of appreciating my life and success NOW!