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What’s the longest grudge you’ve ever held? June 24, 2011

Topic #168:

How long do you stay angry at someone or something? What’s the longest grudge you’ve ever held? Why do you think we hold grudges?

I don’t normally stay angry with people for long, I’m more of a short argument and it’s all over type of person. I hate it when situations drag on and people hold grudges and won’t move on. I’d rather sort it all out in one go, cards on the table and then clear the air – there’s a lot of clichés for you; but they’re clichéd for a reason, because they’re classics and true.

I’m not great at confronting situations though. If an argument starts then I’ll fight my corner; but if someone upsets me and either doesn’t realise it or I don’t know them well, then I won’t say anything because I find confrontation difficult. That’s when I tend to find that small upsets can become grudges, without you really meaning them to. Grudges tend to fester, they’re unhealthy and make a small situation into something so much bigger. If you don’t deal with the issue at the time then it keeps coming up for years to come, until every small thing triggers the old emotions that you’ve tried to bury. I know all that in theory; but in practise my fear of confrontation out-weighs my rational thoughts that I need to sort situations out. I’m getting better at it, trying to talk to close family; but it’s still a long way away that I’ll feel comforatbel; and safe enough to do that with friends or people I don’t really know.

I had to look up the exact meaning of grudge to clarify for myself exactly who I held the longest grudge with.

grudge [grʌdʒ]


1. a persistent feeling of resentment, esp one due to some cause, such as an insult or injury
2. (modifier) planned or carried out in order to settle a grudge a grudge fight


1. (tr) to give or allow unwillingly

2. to feel resentful or envious about (someone else’s success, possessions, etc.)

[from Old French grouchier to grumble, probably of Germanic origin; compare Old High German grunnizōn to grunt]

I guess the longest grudge I’ve held is with a girl who I thought was my friend and suddenly found out that she thought I was lying about being ill/having ME, when she she made a sarcastic comment to another friend. We were only 12 at the time; but it still really hurts. It was the last day of term and she left the school suddenly, so I never saw her again. We didn’t make it up and I’ve never forgotten about it – that’s not to say I think about it, well ever really; but this was the oldest one I could remember.


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