How do you recover lost trust? In a person? In an idea?
In my experience it’s incredibly hard, in fact I’d go as far as to say impossible to recover from a lost of trust, be it in a person or an idea. I read the title as lost truth, which for me has the same meaning. Loss of trust and truth, equates to a loss of innocence, even for an adult.
It hurts like hell and when you get that moment of clarity, where you stop pretending and seeing what you want to see; but actually see how things are. It really is as if everything changes for ever and in truth it does. The world changes and so do you, even if you find a way back from it, nothing will ever be quite the same again.
It’s heartbreaking and emotional; but at the same time can be really freeing (at least in that moment). Often I think we suspect the truth or what is to come, even if we can’t admit it to ourselves and need a sudden shock. Pretending is exhausting. Wearing rose-tinted glasses really takes it out of you. The fear of reality can be so much worse than the reality itself; but it takes courage to see the world the way it really is as opposed to the way you want it to be or hope/imagine it is.
The moment of lost trust is painful; but the true pain is how you live with that loss. How you get on with the rest of your life and how it affects you in the short and long term. The loss of trust can take a moment; but it can last a lifetime.
It’s something I’ve worked hard on over the past few years, coping with loss of trust and the sudden shock to ideas and beliefs I’d had my whole life. It’s been the hardest and longest journey and as with all emotional, I hesitate to use the term spiritual, journeys it’s not an easy path. There are times that all you can do is struggle through the next moment, without looking further than that. Partly because you feel you don’t know how to get through it and partly for fear of what’s around the corner. I can’t really believe, looking back now, how much I’ve been through; but I’m stronger and better for it. The loss of trust has made me harder; but also more discerning and less wiling to settle for second best.
For me forgiveness isn’t something that’s just handed out, like saying “sorry” or “I love you” it must be truly meant. Trust is earned and often undervalued; but once gone I believe it’s impossible to truly get back.